My Life, In Development

The weeks that followed were definitely not easy and I tried to hold it together as much as I could, after all I am a strong person and I didn’t want others to see my pain. Yeah, I have issues with vulnerability, but I’m working on it, hence pouring myself out in this blog. I’ve never done anything like this before or trusted myself to be so open, but I have come to a point in my life where I know I have some definite things I need to change or develop. The emotions here are hard to put down on paper and even harder to let the outside world see, but I hope that maybe I can help at least one person know they are not alone in this world with some of the things they may feel or experience. While I always say that I’ve not done something that at least one other person, or a thousand, or a million, haven’t done before, but all in all, my set of experiences in the order that they happened, the emotions that were felt, the time in my life they occurred, and so much more, all of those m...

               I didn’t end up writing in the journal after I got home that evening, or in the few days that followed, or at all for that matter, I didn’t know what to say after what went down that night. I still don’t understand what happened, why things had to be so final, or what the truth really is, all I know is things got a whole lot worse before they got anywhere near better.                 The Yarts bus arrived at the stop in Fresno where I’d depart at 7:05pm and I waited for David to pick me up in the IHOP parking lot. I was pacing around fighting back the tears as countless cars passed by, knowing that as soon as he arrived, there would be an outpour of emotion as he held me in his arms in that inevitable first embrace after not seeing each other for a few days. He pulled up about ten or fifteen minutes later, took my pack from me ...

Saturday 7/15/17 Wake Up Time: 6:30-7:14am, Got up at 7:19am Current Location: Tuolumne Meadows Store, YARTS Bus Stop, Time: 9:37am                 I’ve made it to the shuttle stop with plenty of time to spare today; I actually thought it was going to take me a little longer to walk here. I woke up wanting to stay in bed longer once again, but knew I should get up and moving so I wouldn’t have to rush.   T he first thing I did after exiting my little tent was locate some sun rays to charge my phone with my Goal Zero panel. Since the sun was quickly rising, I found myself having to move the panel every couple of minutes, dodging the shadows cast by all of the tress. Now that I’m at the bus stop, there’s a solid, open area with full light, so hopefully it’ll give it a good charge.                 After packing up my ...

I have never been a 'blogger.' Yes, I'm a newbie to this not-so-new trend. I'm looking for some advice and ideas from anyone out there who wants to comment, no matter where in your own life you may be, whether you're a self pronounced down-and-out-single mom, or a state senator who is considering running for President someday. So here we go... I'm a black sheep, yet I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who thinks so. I'm not much like anyone else in my family, in fact, I've claimed I've been adopted from a very young age. I love my family, no doubt about it, but I typically feel like I don't belong. Not only do I not feel like I belong within my own family dynamic, but I often feel I, just don't belong...here. I feel I'm meant to do a million different things, see a million different places, and have a million different experiences, but I'm not doing it. Who's fault is it? No one's but my own, so for now this blog is go...