My Life, In Development

The weeks that followed were definitely not easy and I tried to hold it together as much as I could, after all I am a strong person and I didn’t want others to see my pain. Yeah, I have issues with vulnerability, but I’m working on it, hence pouring myself out in this blog. I’ve never done anything like this before or trusted myself to be so open, but I have come to a point in my life where I know I have some definite things I need to change or develop. The emotions here are hard to put down on paper and even harder to let the outside world see, but I hope that maybe I can help at least one person know they are not alone in this world with some of the things they may feel or experience. While I always say that I’ve not done something that at least one other person, or a thousand, or a million, haven’t done before, but all in all, my set of experiences in the order that they happened, the emotions that were felt, the time in my life they occurred, and so much more, all of those m...

               I didn’t end up writing in the journal after I got home that evening, or in the few days that followed, or at all for that matter, I didn’t know what to say after what went down that night. I still don’t understand what happened, why things had to be so final, or what the truth really is, all I know is things got a whole lot worse before they got anywhere near better.                 The Yarts bus arrived at the stop in Fresno where I’d depart at 7:05pm and I waited for David to pick me up in the IHOP parking lot. I was pacing around fighting back the tears as countless cars passed by, knowing that as soon as he arrived, there would be an outpour of emotion as he held me in his arms in that inevitable first embrace after not seeing each other for a few days. He pulled up about ten or fifteen minutes later, took my pack from me ...